Philadelphia eyeballs and mistrials

Man, I really hope that something good happens soon to One-eyed Dude. One-eyed Dude used to have two eyes, but there was a fight with Other Dude and while what happened next is disputed, when the furor died down Two-eyed Dude was no more. One-eyed Dude was born.

One-eyed Dude is depressed, loses his job because his loss of function. So what can he do but sue Other Dude.

The One-eyed Dude is testifying about the last moments of sight that he had in that now-gone eyeball. Think of it; from now on, all will to have to pass through that single eye alone before they can rest in his brain alongside the memories he made when he was Two-eyed Dude.

And One-eyed Dude is thinking about that lost vision and crying AND HIS PROSTHETIC EYEBALL POPS OUT OHHHH GOD THE HUMANITY.

And so the judge declared a mistrial. One-eyed dude must go through all of the proceedings again. And One-eyed Dude is peering with his one eye at this nightmare and wanting to cry some more but he's afraid that eyeball will pop out again.

Angrycat sez: Oh God, my eye. MY EYE