Camden's rocket launcher

Camden, NJ, always working hard to make Philly look like Disneyland. You see, Camden's gun buy-back generated heaps, rooms, PILES of guns (2500 and counting). Lookit all those guns. Mmmmm, delicious guns. But wait, what's that big, vertical thing? A small chimney? A truncated Roman pillar?

No, IT IS A MOTHERFUCKING ROCKET LAUNCHER A ROCKET LAUNCHER IN CAMDEN, NJ.

So many questions. First, what would one shoot with a rocket launcher in Camden? And how did it get there? Did somebody bring it back from Iraq? Have Syrian rebels relocated to NJ?

What's infinitely more terrifying? Flaming cats. It is a thing. IT IS A THING (although not anymore).


ANGRYCAT sez: rocket launchers don't kill people I DO

The Liberty Bell Bomber's psyche

What would inspire a man to arrive at the Liberty Bell with a back pack without a bomb, give said backpack to a security guard, tell the guard that there was a bomb in it, and take off running? Some have noted that the man was previously very interested in renovating the Arizona capitol, as if the idea took root in his head and went round and round until it completely possessed him and he decided that one crack in the liberty bell WAS JUST NOT ENOUGH?

Angrycat's theory: The guy is there on a family outing that involves them all meeting and gazing at the blessed bell. See, the man is married with a child. Their precocious child is obsessed with American history who has decided that what he wants to do for his tenth birthday is see The! Liberty! Bell! HOWEVER the man is in the midst of a mid-life crisis that he has thus far kept hidden from his family. The man's mistress has dumped him. He realizes that he perhaps never loved his wife, and he hates himself for this, hates himself for having the affair, hates himself for being dumped. He wonders if he even loves his child, their beautiful, bespectacled, brilliant boy who brings nothing home from school but straight As and praise from his teachers.

How could I be such a bad man, a horrible man, a man unloved and incapable of loving -- why, he says to himself, why not go all the way? Why not say:

I AM THE LIBERTY BELL BOMBER!

Angrycat alerts you to the bomb -- in your PANTS

SEPTA naked man: wrong to mock?

Recently, a man absolutely naked (aside from the boxer shorts on his HEAD) attacked a SEPTA bus, pressing his genitalia against the glass for the driver and all to see (NSFW), then jumped off and chased the people filming him, then jumped in the back of a pick up truck.  Then he was arrested.

On the one hand, there are those moments experienced by the commuters as they saw this man waggling his goods in their faces; it was nothing they expected on their commute, surely.  It is profound and we should contemplate it.

On the other hand, as Philebrity noted, posting videos and photos of SEPTA commuters who have lost their minds is really not the most humane way to behave.  Having a good laugh at people who have, without a doubt, bottomed out, is a soulless endeavor.

There is also the fact that mental illness isn't funny.  In early January a homeless man froze to death in New York City.   There are approximately 4,000 homeless people in Philadelphia on a given night.  Of course, we've had a week of killing cold.  Hopefully Naked SEPTA Man got some help.  Whether people are laughing at him or not should be the least of Naked SEPTA Man's concerns.  Which doesn't justify laughing at the fellow, but if that laughter is followed by meaningful discussion of how a city deals with its mentally ill, that is better than not talking about it at all, no?


ANGRYCAT watches for Naked SEPTA people for YOU.

Seinfeld raps in Philly

Because what do you do when you are you are incredibly rich and remember the fame of the 90s? Well, you go to Philly to record a rap album with an artist you don't "understand" because Diddy turned you down. 

Sometimes furry paws are not enough to block out the screaming terrors of this world.

Philly cats cut the power as first move towards world domination

Oh cleverly timed, my fiendish feline friends: Wait until climate change causes the temperature to veer from 60 Fahrenheit to like negative twenty; THEN CUT THE POWER TO THREE APARTMENT BUILDINGS in West Philly so that the humans will freeze to death, leaving the food behind (NBC).

Actually, this move comes after years of planning, uploading cute cat videos to the internet so that humans will become unwary. We pretend to be helpful, like this cat who ensures that all laundry gets in the hamper. (YouTube via Metafilter)  But what to say about these human collaborators, doing their adorable lip-syncing to Abba while twirling kitties so that unsuspecting humans will take said kitties into their homes, not knowing that their hour of freezing to death via cat intervention is nigh? (YouTube)

Only this dude in New Zealand has launched an initiative to rid the world of cats. PUNY HUMAN! You cannot defeat Satan.  Prepare to freeze to death -- IN HELL.

Philadelphia crime: Jesus, people. Do not toss people on the train tracks. Do not beat up little kids. And do not steal Michael Jackson's shoes ZOMG MICHAEL JACKSON'S SHOES WERE STOLEN aww who gives a fuck he's dead anyway

In the space of one week the Philly area manage to rack up these impressive feats of double-plus-ungood:
1) AN ABSOLUTELY HORRIFYING INCIDENT AS SEEN IN THIS VIDEO of this guy, outta nowhere, repeatedly punching this lady in the face who was waiting for the train and then throwing her onto the tracks as she Sylvester-the-cat-like tries to stay on the platform. (YouTube/AP) Lady is somehow miraculously okay, mostly because this is a stop where the train is infrequent.
2) Somebody stole Michael Jackson's shoes. (NBC) MICHAEL JACKSON'S SHOES WERE STOLEN PHILLY IS THERE NOTHING YOU WILL NOT DO
3) Some douchebag dad beat up an eight-year old who was teasing his son. (Daily Times) See, because there is nothing more heart-warming than an object lesson of the power of violence.

Angrycat sees, judges, and condemns.