Angrycat's Limerick Lamenting Fentanyl/Heroin mix

Fentanyl, which is 100X more powerful than morphine, has turned up in Western PA and other places in the Mid-Atlantic, resulting in many overdoses and several deaths. It goes under the names of Theraflu and Bud Ice. Don't do it.  Phillip S. Hoffman died of the regular kind of heroin, apparently, but don't do that either, obvs:

There's a new brand of smack: Theraflu
But you should find another drug to do
Because it's mixed with stuff
That makes survival tough
Avoid friends finding you dead and blue.

Angrycat's limerick lamenting SEPTA's trials in the bitter cold

SEPTA has a hard time in the cold
One might think it's 'cause El is so old
No, the new trains are failures
All those Regional Rail-ers
The cold makes it so the doors can't unfold.

Angrycat's limerick celebrating kayak rescue of dog trapped on icy Delaware

There was a pit bull, name of Duke
Duke was far too easy to spook
Ran onto frozen river
The poor dog could but shiver
But a kayak saved Duke; wint'ry fluke.

Angrycat's limerick commemorating baby born on sled

A Pennsylvania baby was born on a sled during our most recent snowstorm:

Foot of snow, felt like minus fifteen

And the dad bought a sled that was lime-green

For the baby was due

In the sled the mom flew

Not long after came newborn babe's first screams

Angrycat's limerick lamenting life in the Polar Vortex

All aboard on the clipper snow train

It's a weather trend that brings much pain

Endless Arctic snow storms

Old Man Winter's hell forms

As we huddle and pray for mere rain.

Angrycat's limerick commemorating the train derailment last week over the Schuylkill River

The derailment included six cars full of crude oil, which thankfully did not leak:

A freight train on a bridge on the Schuylkill
Almost tipped over; fears of a big oil spill
Oil's explosive; oh no!
Seems train driving is a valu'ble skill.

January 22, 2014

Angrycat's limerick celebrating Guv Corbett's fleeing from Central High school students and demonstrators

Our Guv Corbett would speak at a high school
But he canceled, said, 'must not lose my cool'
'They will drown out my message,
How I've led with such courage'
And the Keystone State cries out, 'don't lie, fool.'

Angrycat's limerick celebrating the spill of heating oil into the Delaware

On the occasion of a spill of 300 gallons of heating oil, half of which went into the Delaware:

There were gallons of heating oil spilled

Half the oil a containment tank filled

The rest went into the river

And the Coast Guard did shiver

As they wanted no fish to be killed

Angrycat's limerick celebrating the Philadelphia Swiss Cheese Masturbator

There's a man with a fetish for cheese
In Philly; he approaches women, says, "Please,"
"Girls and dairy are equal"
Pulls down pants as a prequel
If there's justice, his penis will freeze

Angrycat's limerick celebrating the George Washington Bridge scandal

The big presser about traffic in Fort Lee
Guv Christie denied claims that he
Could have known that his staff
Cut bridge lanes by a half
Might not soothe those who pay huge toll fees.

Angrycat's limerick about beet juice on Pennsylvania roads

PA is experimenting with the application of beet juice, in lieu of rock salt, to wintry roads in the state:

By applying a coat of beet slime

To our roads, plagued with cold all the time

The state powers that be

Are all waiting to see

If it works; thus we end this rushed rhyme

Angrycat's limerick celebrating Corbettcare

Which would require the unemployed to provide proof of job search in order to get insurance:

Tom Corbett's Brilliant Health Plan

For some it's objectionable content
For some health care's unspeakable torment
What does Corbett want done?
Unemployed better run
Proof of job search is Corbett's commandment.

Angrycat's limerick celebrating Hercules snowstorm

It's the first full of snow for this year
As a mass of chilled Arctic draws near
And our city streets fine
Are all coated in brine
And we wait for the sidewalks to clear