Books: With a one and a two and a -- writers come flock to get your hate on

Oh lovely, lovely, schadenfreude.  I think writers are better placed to appreciate this feeling, given that our lives usually involve the kind of rejection that from time to time has us weeping like a sixteen-year old who experiences her first heartbreak on the night of the prom.

Thus I give you the utter and complete meltdown of Jacqueline Howett, a self-pubbed writer who got a review that was not that positive.  Her response?  To go to the reviewer's blog and go from whiny ungrammatical broadsides to hurling of whiny 'fuck-yous.'  Yes, you writers, you know you must flock to this horrible spectacle (that has now been blogged about in every conceivable place, including Salon) TO LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH SOME MORE.

But, check it, your trusty blogger is not letting the good times stop there.  Nooooooo.  We have, for example, this book-lover who goes to book-signings and requests authors to sign his copies of their books with INSULTS!  Brilliant!  (Metafilter).

Philly: Gov Corbett is evil some more, please do not snort bath salts, hijinks at Philly zoo

So Gov. Corbett doesn't just want to defund our schools; no, that would not be sufficiently in keeping with his quest to obtain the notice of Lucifer himself.  No, he wants voter approval for school district budgets, and teachers will be laid off if they don't show results.   What are results?  Who knows?  Who cares! (Philly.com)

Apparently the newest local way to get high is to snort bath salts.  And when I say high I mean complete psychotic break that is in no way good and will probably end up with you and your cat dead. (Leighton News)

Philadelphia Zoo has a rhino that is obsessed with the Ellen DeGeneres show.  What, sometimes it's a slow news day.  In other Philly Zoo news, the name of the institution has apparently been changed to "Penis World." (Philebrity)

Books and a side of urine-free wetsuit: Better than pounding a nail up your nose

Here is something that is not about either PA or books but somehow is still wonderful.  An ebay post about a never-urinated in wetsuit was done with so much panache and delightful British slang that it became an amazing fundraiser for Japan.  Check this shit out! (Metafilter)

Failed Nevada Republican pol Sharon Angle has chosen to self-publish her memoirs , which you know have to be the crazy scribblings of a serial killer. (Yahoo). Meanwhile, fellow wackjob Jack Cashill won't stop until he proves that Barack Obama didn't write his memoirs.  (The Daily Beast).

Writer Beware Blog posted info regarding the Midwest Literary Magazine, which is soliciting your work so it can steal it and reprint it without your permission.

The ridiculous in the world of writing: That dude with the (admittedly funny) fake twitter account for Rahm Emanuel has landed a book deal based on the fake Rahm tweets. (New York Times) Writers need to find new ways to insult each other, so some are resorting to Twitter, as in this Michael Chabon/ Ayelet Wylman/ Katie Roiphe fight.

Pennsylvania: Gov. Corbett to every single school in PA -- tonight I'm frakking you

Sadly, this post is not about a geek tribute to Princess Leia and Skin Jobs.  (Metafilter)  And maybe the schools would be down with it if Corbett was hot and sexy like that sexy sexy Gov Christie. (Inquirer).  Anyways, given that the proposed cuts to higher education are, according to Penn officials, the most dramatic defunding of education in the history of the country, maybe it's understandable why people are not rushing to congratulate Gov. Corbett on his plan.  And because not everybody in PA is taking whatever drugs the Gov is on, people reasonably would like the natural gas industry that poisoning our state unhindered by needed regulation to pony up, you know, a little bit in the way of tax revenues -- thus allowing the state to not, you know, take college opportunities away from poor kids. (ABC). But probably the Gov is not going to actually do what the voters would like him to do.  Some hints of this:  A top Corbett aide compared the documentary Gasland -- the Oscar-nominated film about the hazards of frakking -- to Nazi propaganda.  (Daily News).  The Daily News also wonders if Corbett is declaring war on education.  And so it goes.

Books -- Bret Easton Ellis on Charlie Sheen, overuse of 'awesome' at SXSW, Rushdie goin' all Hollywood

The God of all things nihilistic, Bret Easton Ellis, comes up with this paean to Charlie Sheen.   It's really fucking weird, man, I'm telling you this right now. (Daily Beast)  Some poor soul at The Guardian is highly annoyed with the overuse of the word 'awesome' at SXSW. Salman Rushdie goes to Hollywood! (apparently).  He's writing for a Showtime show called 'Next People' and is co-screenwriter for an upcoming film adaptation of Midnight's Children.

Philadelphia: Why Gov. Tom Corbett deserves to be punched in the mug repeatedly

Oh Tom Corbett, it's all about the gas, in'nt?  Our Governor's best friend, the natural gas industry, tried to get Gasland, the Oscar-nominated documentary that examined how the process of fracking leads to, oh, a devastated environment and very sick people, disqualified from the Oscars.  You can't handle the fracking truth.  But maybe it is also about more than sick people and poisoned environments -- there's also, as the Inquirer puts it, Corbett's 'War on Education.'  You see, funding for PA higher education is now down below to 1983 levels, thanks to our new gov.   Outside of the substance of this fact, to me it's another possible piece of evidence that demonstrates that the people who voted him into office are slack-jawed yokels. And it's not only those fetid pools of socialism (read: university campuses) Corbett is after; as per the Inquirer, Corbett's planned one billion cuts from public ed would make kindergarten unaffordable for many PA districts.  Those evil five-year-olds must be stopped!  But in fact, it's a perfect time to withdraw state monies, what with United Way reporting that the number of households seeking the charity's services for the first time has increased by 50%. (CBS)

PENNSYLVANIA ANIMAL HOUR WOO WITH A BUCKET OF HOO

A plan is afoot to use parasitic wasps to deal with the ever-nearing stink bug epidemic.  And then in the next scene Will Smith is driving around a New York that is empty but for deer, a lion, and legions of parasitic-wasp zombies.  An elderly wolf escaped from a rehab center.  Officials say that the wolf isn't dangerous but advise the hiding of the dope if the wolf stumbles into your living room, with a bottle of Jack clutched between its teeth and drunken wolfie tears in its eyes.  A pizzeria owner in my hood, Upper  Darby, decided the best way to beat the competition was to deposit bags of mice in his competitors' restaurants.  For reals.  OH COME ON WOULD I LIE TO YOU (this all comes from ABC any lies are on their heads).