Look, my dear new town, I try to be nice. I try to not lay to many F bombs on you -- but I swear to god some of youse deserve to be chewed up one side and down the other with a proper New York telling off that I cannot completely muster because I am Oregonian at heart.
You know that big fuckin piece of ice on snow in front of your sidewalk? Guess what, some fuckin' poor old lady has to get through that who is probably living on cat food or more likely sawdust because cat food is so expensive. You, you lazy shit, because there's some fucking marathon on Spike TV decided to see if you could increase your stores of assfat and not shovel your fucking walk. Hope you feel really fucking good about yourself you piece of dreck. Thanks for making the world a better place.
And you know what I would shovel your walk you fat piece of shit but I can't. I use a wheelchair to do everything. Get to the store, get to the pharmacy, put the bills in the mail. And when you don't shovel your fucking walk, guess who remains inside for days in an increasingly homicidal stew.
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