D. Bruce Hanes, Pennsylvania's renegade gay-marriage guy

D. Bruce Hanes you awesome fellow, you brought Angrycat out of retirement with your awesomeness,  get out of here with your bad awesome self!  Mr. D. Bruce Hanes, despite laws banning gay marriage in the Keystone state, has said No to the haters No to the hicks and bigots, and, in his righteous capacity as Montgomery County's Register of Wills, has issued a marriage license for a lesbian couple.  Chaos and media attention ensued, and I do not care what you believe, if you do not feel a twinge of sympathy for all the heat D. Bruce Hanes is getting right now you are a bad person, and I'll see ya in Hell. Some lame-ass County Register of Wills Association issued some fiat about how Mr. D. Bruce Hanes's acts violate state laws, but Mr. D. Bruce Hanes don't care.  Mr. D. Bruce Hanes is all about the love, he says no to the hate.  He is Mr. D. Bruce Hanes: look upon him, ye stupid haters, and tremble

IM IN YER CHAPEL, MARRYIN YER GAYZ

The further unraveling of Philadelphia city schools

So, the  City has announced layoffs, effective July 1 of this year, for almost four thousand of the District's approximately twenty thousand employees.  Further layoffs are expected, so that 30% of active positions will be eliminated.  As the Philadelphia Inquirer noted, with these cuts:

These schools will not be centers of growth and promise. They will be far closer to custodial houses, where, despite the best efforts of teachers (and the effort will be there), only the most confident students can get the year's worth of learning every child deserves from September to June.

A'ight, let's try this another way.  Imagine that all these students, even the misbehaving ones, are like the kitten pictured below.  Now, what is the right way to raise the kitten?  Put the kitten in a dark room and ignore it?  Or put your face in its belly and feed it treats and play with it with little bouncy toys?  WHICH IS THE RIGHT CHOICE.

Philly #5 when it comes to people and also stereotypical dog attacks

The 2010 census showed that Philly is still the fifth largest city, despite growth projections that estimated that it had been replaced by Phoenix.    In the two years since, Philly has maintained this trend of growth, which is described as related in part to an increase in the immigrant population.

In other recent city ranking news, Philadelphia was also ranked #5 in the nation in numbers of dog attacks on mail carriers

BACK IN THE DAY WHEN PHILLY WAS MOST LIKELY #1 WHEN IT CAME TO DOG ATTACKS ON MAIL CARRIERS.

Some various ways in which Philly is hurting her kids

The Philadelphia Adverse Childhood Experiences task force reported that out of 2,000 person-sized sample of Philly residents, one out of three people grew up in a household where there was physical abuse, one in three witnessed, as a child, someone beaten, stabbed, or shot, and one in three grew up in a household where there was drug or alcohol use.

The ACE task forms claims claims that: "Almost 100% of stakeholders who have engaged in state level policy change cited the importance of building support across a robust set of domains, including health, human services, education, domestic violence, law enforcement, and child welfare."

This is the kind of study that makes more understandable that Upper Darby bus ride where a seven year old was assaulting a driver and aide, causing the bus driver to pull over and call 9-1-1.

Then maybe not such a good idea to slash school funding so there are fewer or no school librarians, counselors, and arts and music programs.  Hence, students are protesting in Philly and Allentown.

Delco polls invaded by invisible people wanting to vote

The crowd of approximately fifty invisible people shifted impatiently as they waited their turn to vote in Upper Darby, PA, yesterday.  One man mopped the sweat of the humid May day off his brow before saying, "I had to bring the kids with me today."  He gestured to his three invisible children, ages 8-11, who were waiting patiently.  Referring to the fact that many of the ballots were for judicial appointments, the invisible man who declined to give his name, continued, "but it's important to let the young ones know that every branch of government is accountable to the voters."

Deer goes on rampage, hijacks PA bus

So last week this white-tailed deer crashed through the windshield of a city bus somewhere outside of Pittsburgh, flailed around for a while, and then the driver helpfully opened the door, said, 'I think this is your stop,' and out the deer went, although without paying a fare.

The video is below, and the deer is of course looking as freaked out as hell, so it might be better if you imagine the deer being like total bad-ass, like high on crystal meth and demanding the bus driver's wallet before it gets off the bus.

Driving with your phone in Philly

A 2006 study found that driving with a cell, even hands-free, is equivalent to driving while drunk in terms of impairment. There is cell-phone use suspected in the collision and killing of a jogger in Limerick back in March of this year.  The duck boat accident that killed two a couple of years ago was caused by cell-phone distraction.  Over 3,000 people were killed in distracted driving incidents in 2011, with over 300,000 injured.

Despite all that, a casual observation of the drivers in Philly shows that half of them have a cell phone to their ear.

Angrycat, thoughts?

SHUT UP AND COME LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND

Why is there a body part on my bed.  Who put that there?

DON'T WORRY; IT'S FRESH. THERE WAS A THREE-CAR PILE UP ON 69TH

How did you even get out of the house?

SEE WHEN YOU EAT A HUMAN HAND IT'S BEST TO GRASP IT BY THE FLESHY PART OF THE THUMB